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Volume II, Part Two, Chapter IX

In the happiest state of mind, returning from his southern trip, Pierre fulfilled his long-standing intention to call on his friend Bolkonsky, whom he had not seen for two years.

Bogucharovo lay in an ugly, flat area, covered with fields and felled and uncut fir and birch forests. The manor's yard was located at the end of a straight line, along the main road of the village, behind a newly dug, full-filled pond, with banks not yet overgrown with grass, in the middle of a young forest, between which stood several large pines.

The manor's courtyard consisted of a threshing floor, outbuildings, stables, a bathhouse, an outbuilding and a large stone house with a semicircular pediment, which was still under construction. A young garden was planted around the house. The fences and gates were strong and new; under the canopy stood two fire pipes and a barrel painted green; the roads were straight, the bridges were strong with railings. Everything bore the imprint of neatness and thrift. The servants who met, when asked where the prince lived, pointed to a small, new outbuilding standing at the very edge of the pond. The old uncle of Prince Andrey, Anton, dropped Pierre out of the carriage, said that the prince was at home, and led him into a clean, small hallway.

Pierrewas struck by the modesty of the small, albeit clean house after the brilliant conditions in which he last saw his friend in Petersburg. He hurriedly entered the still pine-smelling, unplastered, small hall and wanted to move on, but Anton ran forward on tiptoe and knocked on the door.

— Well, what's there? — a sharp, unpleasant voice was heard.

"Guest," answered Anton.

"Ask me to wait," and I heard a chair being pushed back. Pierre quickly walked up to the door and came face to face with Prince Andrei, who was coming out to him, frowning and aged. Pierre hugged him and, raising his glasses, kissed him on the cheeks and looked at him closely.

"I didn't expect it, I'm very glad," said Prince Andrey. Pierre did not say anything; He looked at his friend in surprise, without taking his eyes off. He was struck by the change that had taken place in Prince Andrei. The words were affectionate, a smile was on the lips and face of Prince Andrei, but the look was extinguished, dead, to which, despite the visible desire, Prince Andrei could not give a joyful and cheerful shine. It's not that his friend has lost weight, turned pale, and matured; but this look and the wrinkle on his forehead, expressing long concentration on one thing, amazed and alienated Pierre until he got used to them.

When meeting after a long separation, as always happens, the conversation could not stop for a long time; they asked and answered briefly about things that they themselves knew should have been discussed at length. Finally, the conversation gradually began to dwell on what had previously been said fragmentarily, on questions about his past life, about plans for the future, about Pierrea's travels, about his activities, about the war, etc. That concentration and depression that Pierre noticed in the look of Prince Andrey was now expressed even more strongly in the smile with which he listened to Pierrea, especially when Pierre spoke with animated joy about the past or the future. It was as if Prince Andrey would have wanted, but could not take part in what he was saying. Pierre began to feel that enthusiasm, dreams, hopes for happiness and goodness in front of Prince Andrei were not proper. He was ashamed to express all his new, Masonic thoughts, especially those renewed and excited in him by his last journey. He restrained himself, was afraid to be naive; at the same time, he irresistibly wanted to quickly show his friend that he was now completely different, better Pierre than the one who was in Petersburg.

—I can't tell you how much I experienced during this time. I wouldn't recognize myself.

"Yes, we have changed a lot, a lot since then," said Prince Andrey.

— Well, what about you? - asked Pierre, - what are your plans?

— Plans? - Prince Andrey ironically repeated. - My plans? - he repeated, as if surprised at the meaning of such a word. - Yes, you see, I'm building, I want to move completely by next year...

Pierre silently and intently peered into the aged face of Andrey.

"No, I'm asking," said Pierre... - but Prince Andrey interrupted him:

—What can I say about me....tell me, tell me about your journey, about everything you did there on your estates?

Pierre began to talk about what he had done on his estates, trying as much as possible to hide his participation in the improvements made by him. Prince Andrey several times prompted Pierreto advance what he was telling, as if everything that Pierre had done was a long-known story, and he listened not only not with interest, but even as if ashamed of what he was telling Pierre.

Pierrefelt awkward and even difficult in the company of his friend. He fell silent.

"But here's what, my soul," said Prince Andrey, who was obviously also having a hard time and shy with the guest, "I'm here in bivouacs, I came just to look." I'm going back to my sister now. I'll introduce you to them. Yes, you seem to know each other," he said, obviously entertaining the guest with whom he now felt nothing in common. — We'll go after lunch. Now do you want to see my estate? "They went out and walked around until lunch, talking about political news and mutual acquaintances, like people who are not very close to each other. With some animation and interest, Prince Andrey spoke only about the new estate and building he was organizing, but even here, in the middle of the conversation, on the stage, when Prince Andrey was describing Pierre the future location of the house, he suddenly stopped. "But there's nothing interesting here, let's go have lunch and leave." — At dinner there was a conversation about marriage Pierrea.

"I was very surprised when I heard about this," said Prince Andrey.

Pierre blushed the same way he always blushed at this, and hastily said:

— I'll tell you someday how it all happened. But you know that it's all over and forever.

— Forever? - said Prince Andrey. — Nothing happens forever.

— But do you know how it all ended? Have you heard about the duel?

— Yes, you went through this too.

"The one thing I thank God for is that I didn't kill this man," said Pierre.

— Why? - said Prince Andrey. — Killing an angry dog ​​is even very good.

— No, killing a person is not good, it's unfair...

— Why is it unfair? - repeated Prince Andrey; what is just and unjust is not given to people to judge. People have always been mistaken and will continue to be mistaken, and in nothing more than in what they consider fair and unfair.

"It is unfair that there is evil for another person," said Pierre, feeling with pleasure that for the first time since his arrival, Prince Andrey was animated and began to speak and wanted to express everything that made him what he was now.

—Who told you what evil is for another person? - he asked.

— Evil? Evil? - said Pierre, "we all know what evil is for ourselves.

"Yes, we know, but the evil that I know for myself, I cannot do to another person," said Prince Andrey more and more animatedly, apparently wanting to express Pierre his new view of things. He spoke French. Je ne connais dans la vie que maux bien réels: c'est le remord et la maladie. Il n'est de bien que l'absence de ces maux. To live for yourself, avoiding only these two evils: that is all my wisdom now.

—What about love for one's neighbor, and self-sacrifice? - Pierre spoke. - No, I cannot agree with you! To live only in such a way as not to do evil, so as not to repent, this is not enough. I lived like this, I lived for myself and ruined my life. And only now, when I live, at least try (Pierre corrected out of modesty) to live for others, only now I understand all the happiness of life. No, I don't agree with you, and you don't mean what you say. - Prince Andrey silently looked at Pierre and smiled mockingly.

—You'll see your sister, Princess Marya. You'll get along with her," he said. "Perhaps you are right for yourself," he continued, after a pause; - but everyone lives in their own way: you lived for yourself and you say that by doing this you almost ruined your life, and you only knew happiness when you began to live for others. But I experienced the opposite. I lived for fame. (After all, what is glory? the same love for others, the desire to do something for them, the desire for their praise.) So I lived for others, and not almost, but completely ruined my life. And since then I have become calmer, as I live only for myself.

— How can one live for oneself? — Pierre asked heatedly. — And the son, and the sister, and the father?

"Yes, it's still the same me, it's not others," said Prince Andrey, and others, neighbors, le prochain, as you and Princess Marya call, are the main source of error and evil. Le prochain these are your Kyiv men to whom you want to do good.

And he looked at Pierrewith a mockingly defiant gaze. He apparently called Pierrea.

"You're kidding," said Pierre more and more animatedly. What error and evil could there be in the fact that I wanted (very little and did it poorly), but wanted to do good, and at least did something? What evil could it be that unfortunate people, our men, people just like us, growing up and dying without any other concept of God and truth, like ritual and meaningless prayer, will be taught in the comforting beliefs of a future life, retribution, reward, consolation? What evil and delusion is it that people die from illness without help, when it is so easy to help them financially, and I will give them a doctor, and a hospital, and a shelter for the old man? And isn't it a tangible, undoubted benefit that a man, a woman and a child have no rest day and night, and I will give them rest and leisure?... - said Pierre, hurrying and lisping. "And I did it, at least poorly, at least a little, but I did something for this, and not only will you not dissuade me that what I did was good, but you will not dissuade me, so that you yourself do not think so." And most importantly," continued Pierre, "this is what I know and know for sure, that the pleasure of doing this good is the only true happiness in life.

—Yes, if you put the question this way, then that's a different matter, said Prince Andrey. - I build a house, plant a garden, and you are a hospital. Both can serve as a pastime. And what is fair, what is good - leave it to the one who knows everything, and not to us, to judge. "Well, you want to argue," he added, "come on." — They left the table and sat on the porch, which replaced the balcony.

"Well, let's argue," said Prince Andrey. "You say schools," he continued, bending his finger, "teachings and so on, that is, you want to take him out of his animal state and give him moral needs," he said, pointing to a man who took off his hat and walked past them, but it seems to me that the only possible happiness is animal happiness, and you want to deprive him of it. I envy him, and you want to make him me, but without giving him my means. Another thing you say is to make his job easier. But in my opinion, physical labor is the same necessity for him, the same condition of his existence, as mental labor is for me and for you. You can't help but think. I go to bed at 3 o'clock, thoughts come to me, and I can't sleep, I toss and turn, I don't sleep until the morning because I'm thinking and I can't help but think, just as he can't help but plow and mow; otherwise he will go to the tavern, or he will become ill. Just as I cannot bear his terrible physical labor and die in a week, so he cannot bear my physical idleness, he will get fat and die. Third, what else did you say?

Prince Andrey bent his third finger.

—Oh, yes, hospitals, medicines. He has a stroke, he dies, and you bled him, cured him. He will be a cripple for ten years, a burden for everyone. It is much calmer and easier for him to die. Others will be born, and there are so many of them. If you were sorry that your extra worker was missing - the way I look at him, otherwise you want to treat him out of love for him. But he doesn't need that. And besides, what kind of imagination is there that medicine has ever cured anyone! Kill - like that! - he said, frowning angrily and turning away from Pierrea.

Prince Andrey expressed his thoughts so clearly and distinctly that it was clear that he had thought about it more than once, and he spoke willingly and quickly, like a man who had not spoken for a long time. His gaze became more animated the more hopeless his judgments were.

— Oh, this is terrible, terrible! - said Pierre. "I just don't understand how you can live with such thoughts." The same moments came over me, it happened recently, in Moscow and on the road, but then I sink to such a degree that I don't live, everything is disgusting to me... the main thing is me. Then I don't eat, I don't wash... well, what about you?...

"Why not wash your face, it's not clean," said Prince Andrey; - on the contrary, we must try to make our life as pleasant as possible. I live and it's not my fault, so I need to live until death somehow better, without interfering with anyone.

—But what prompts you to live with such thoughts? You will sit motionless, doing nothing...

— Life doesn't leave you alone anyway. I would be glad to do nothing, but, on the one hand, the nobility here awarded me the honor of being elected leader: I got away with violence. They could not understand that I did not have what was needed, that well-known good-natured and concerned vulgarity that was needed for this. Then this house, which had to be built in order to have a corner where you can be calm. Now the militia.

— Why don't you serve in the army?

— After Austerlitz! - Prince Andrey said gloomily. - No; I humbly thank you, I promised myself that I would not serve in the active Russian army. And I wouldn't, if Bonaparte stood here, near Smolensk, threatening Bald Mountains, and then I wouldn't serve in the Russian army. Well, that's what I told you," Prince Andrey continued, calming down. - Now the militia, father is the commander-in-chief of the 3rd district, and the only way for me to get rid of service is to be with him.

— So you serve?

— Serving. — He was silent for a while.

— So why do you serve?

— But why. My father is one of the most remarkable people of his century. But he is getting old, and he is not only cruel, but he is too active. He is terrible with his habit of unlimited power, and now with this power given by sovereign to the commander-in-chief over the militia. If I had been two hours late two weeks ago, he would have hanged the protocol officer in Yukhnov," said Prince Andrey with a smile; - this is how I serve because no one except me has influence on my father, and here and there I will save him from an act from which he would suffer later.

— Oh, well, you see!

—Yes, mais ce n'est pas comme vous l'entendez, continued Prince Andrey. "I did not and do not wish the slightest good to this bastard protocol officer who stole some boots from the militia; I would even be very pleased to see him hanged, but I feel sorry for my father, that is, again for myself.

Prince Andrey became more and more animated. His eyes sparkled feverishly as he tried to prove to Pierre that his actions never contained a desire for good to his neighbor.

"Well, you want to free the peasants," he continued. - This is very good; but not for you (you, I think, did not detect anyone and did not send them to Siberia), and even less for the peasants. If they are beaten, flogged, sent to Siberia, then I think that it is no worse for them. In Siberia he leads the same bestial life, and the scars on his body will heal, and he is as happy as he was before. But this is needed for those people who are perishing morally, making repentance for themselves, suppressing this repentance and becoming rude because they have the opportunity to execute right or wrong. This is who I feel sorry for, and for whom I would like to free the peasants. You may not have seen, but I have seen how good people, brought up in these traditions of unlimited power, over the years, when they become more irritable, become cruel, rude, know it, cannot resist and become more and more unhappy.

Prince Andrey said this with such enthusiasm that Pierre involuntarily thought that these thoughts were induced by Andrey by his father. He didn't answer him.

— So that's who I feel sorry for—human dignity, peace of conscience, purity, and not their backs and foreheads, which no matter how much you cut, no matter how much you shave, will still remain the same backs and foreheads.

— No, no, and a thousand times no! "I will never agree with you," said Pierre.