My mother greets me kindly: is she well?

She is not well, but yet she has her health; she’s very merry, but yet she is not well. But thanks be given, she’s very well, and wants nothing i’ the world; but yet she is not well.

If she be very well, what does she ail that she’s not very well?

Truly, she’s very well indeed, but for two things.

What two things?

One, that she’s not in heaven, whither God send her quickly! The other, that she’s in earth, from whence God send her quickly!

Bless you, my fortunate lady!

I hope, sir, I have your good will to have mine own good fortune.

You had my prayers to lead them on; and to keep them on, have them still. O, my knave how does my old lady?

So that you had her wrinkles and I her money, I would she did as you say.

Why, I say nothing.

Marry, you are the wiser man; for many a man’s tongue shakes out his master’s undoing. To say nothing, to do nothing, to know nothing, and to have nothing, is to be a great part of your title; which is within a very little of nothing.

Away! Thou art a knave.

You should have said, sir, before a knave thou art a knave; that is before me thou art a knave. This had been truth, sir.

Go to, thou art a witty fool; I have found thee.

Did you find me in yourself, sir? or were you taught to find me? The search, sir, was profitable; and much fool may you find in you, even to the world’s pleasure and the increase of laughter.

What’s his will else?

What more commands he?

In everything I wait upon his will.

I shall report it so.

I pray you. Come, sirrah.