[Enter Mistress Page, Mistress Quickly and William.]
MISTRESS PAGE

Is he at Master Ford’s already, think’st thou?

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Sure he is by this; or will be presently. But truly he is very courageous mad about his throwing into the water. Mistress Ford desires you to come suddenly.

MISTRESS PAGE

I’ll be with her by and by. I’ll but bring my young man here to school. Look where his master comes; ’tis a playing day, I see.

[Enter Sir Hugh Evans.]

How now, Sir Hugh, no school today?

EVANS

No, Master Slender is let the boys leave to play.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Blessing of his heart!

MISTRESS PAGE

Sir Hugh, my husband says my son profits nothing in the world at his book. I pray you ask him some questions in his accidence.

EVANS

Come hither, William. Hold up your head, come.

MISTRESS PAGE

Come on, sirrah. Hold up your head. Answer your master, be not afraid.

EVANS

William, how many numbers is in nouns?

WILLIAM

Two.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Truly, I thought there had been one number more, because they say “’Od’s nouns.”

EVANS

Peace your tattlings! What is “fair,” William?

WILLIAM

Pulcher.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Polecats? There are fairer things than polecats, sure.

EVANS

You are a very simplicity ’oman; I pray you, peace.—What is lapis, William?

WILLIAM

A stone.

EVANS

And what is “a stone,” William?

WILLIAM

A pebble.

EVANS

No, it is lapis. I pray you remember in your prain.

WILLIAM

Lapis.

EVANS

That is a good William. What is he, William, that does lend articles?

WILLIAM

Articles are borrowed of the pronoun, and be thus declined: singulariter, nominativo, hic, haec, hoc.

EVANS

Nominativo, hig, haeg, hog, pray you, mark: genitivo, huius. Well, what is your accusative case?

WILLIAM

Accusativo, hinc.

EVANS

I pray you, have your remembrance, child. Accusativo, hung, hang, hog.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

“Hang-hog” is Latin for bacon, I warrant you.

EVANS

Leave your prabbles, ’oman.—What is the focative case, William?

WILLIAM

O—vocativo—O—

EVANS

Remember, William; focative is caret.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

And that’s a good root.

EVANS

’Oman, forbear.

MISTRESS PAGE

Peace.

EVANS

What is your genitive case plural, William?

WILLIAM

Genitive case?

EVANS

Ay.

WILLIAM

Genitive: horum, harum, horum.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Vengeance of Jenny’s case, fie on her! Never name her, child, if she be a whore.

EVANS

For shame, ’oman.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

You do ill to teach the child such words.—He teaches him to hick and to hack, which they’ll do fast enough of themselves; and to call “whore ’m”!—Fie upon you!

EVANS

’Oman, art thou lunatics? Hast thou no understandings for thy cases, and the numbers of the genders? Thou art as foolish Christian creatures as I would desires.

MISTRESS PAGE

[To Quickly.] Prithee, hold thy peace.

EVANS

Show me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns.

WILLIAM

Forsooth, I have forgot.

EVANS

It is qui, quae, quod. If you forget your quis, your quaes, and your quods, you must be preeches. Go your ways and play, go.

MISTRESS PAGE

He is a better scholar than I thought he was.

EVANS

He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, Mistress Page.

MISTRESS PAGE

Adieu, good Sir Hugh.

[Exit Sir Hugh Evans.]

Get you home, boy. Come, we stay too long.

[Exeunt.]