ACT III
SCENE I. A public Place.
Thou art like one of these fellows that, when he enters the confines of a tavern, claps me his sword upon the table, and says ‘God send me no need of thee!’ and by the operation of the second cup draws him on the drawer, when indeed there is no need.
Am I like such a fellow?
Come, come, thou art as hot a Jack in thy mood as any in Italy; and as soon moved to be moody, and as soon moody to be moved.
And what to?
Nay, an there were two such, we should have none shortly, for one would kill the other. Thou? Why, thou wilt quarrel with a man that hath a hair more or a hair less in his beard than thou hast. Thou wilt quarrel with a man for cracking nuts, having no other reason but because thou hast hazel eyes. What eye but such an eye would spy out such a quarrel? Thy head is as full of quarrels as an egg is full of meat, and yet thy head hath been beaten as addle as an egg for quarrelling. Thou hast quarrelled with a man for coughing in the street, because he hath wakened thy dog that hath lain asleep in the sun. Didst thou not fall out with a tailor for wearing his new doublet before Easter? with another for tying his new shoes with an old riband? And yet thou wilt tutor me from quarrelling!
And I were so apt to quarrel as thou art, any man should buy the fee simple of my life for an hour and a quarter.
The fee simple! O simple!
By my head, here comes the Capulets.
By my heel, I care not.
And but one word with one of us? Couple it with something; make it a word and a blow.
You shall find me apt enough to that, sir, and you will give me occasion.
Could you not take some occasion without giving?
Mercutio, thou consortest with Romeo.
Consort? What, dost thou make us minstrels? And thou make minstrels of us, look to hear nothing but discords. Here’s my fiddlestick, here’s that shall make you dance. Zounds, consort!
Well, peace be with you, sir, here comes my man.
What wouldst thou have with me?
Good King of Cats, nothing but one of your nine lives; that I mean to make bold withal, and, as you shall use me hereafter, dry-beat the rest of the eight. Will you pluck your sword out of his pilcher by the ears? Make haste, lest mine be about your ears ere it be out.
[Drawing.] I am for you.
Gentle Mercutio, put thy rapier up.
Come, sir, your passado.
What, art thou hurt?
Courage, man; the hurt cannot be much.
No, ’tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church door, but ’tis enough, ’twill serve. Ask for me tomorrow, and you shall find me a grave man. I am peppered, I warrant, for this world. A plague o’ both your houses. Zounds, a dog, a rat, a mouse, a cat, to scratch a man to death. A braggart, a rogue, a villain, that fights by the book of arithmetic!—Why the devil came you between us? I was hurt under your arm.
I thought all for the best.
Here comes the furious Tybalt back again.
This shall determine that.
O, I am fortune’s fool!
Why dost thou stay?
There lies that Tybalt.
Where are the vile beginners of this fray?
Benvolio, who began this bloody fray?