[Music. Enter two or three Servants with a banquet.]
FIRST SERVANT

Here they’ll be, man. Some o’ their plants are ill-rooted already; the least wind i’ th’ world will blow them down.

SECOND SERVANT

Lepidus is high-coloured.

FIRST SERVANT

They have made him drink alms-drink.

SECOND SERVANT

As they pinch one another by the disposition, he cries out “no more”, reconciles them to his entreaty and himself to th’ drink.

FIRST SERVANT

But it raises the greater war between him and his discretion.

SECOND SERVANT

Why, this it is to have a name in great men’s fellowship. I had as lief have a reed that will do me no service as a partisan I could not heave.

FIRST SERVANT

To be called into a huge sphere, and not to be seen to move in ’t, are the holes where eyes should be, which pitifully disaster the cheeks.

[A sennet sounded. Enter Caesar, Antony, Pompey, Lepidus, Agrippa, Maecenas, Enobarbus, Menas with other Captains.]
ANTONY
[To Caesar.] Thus do they, sir: they take the flow o’ th’ Nile
By certain scales i’ th’ pyramid; they know
By th’ height, the lowness, or the mean, if dearth
Or foison follow. The higher Nilus swells,
The more it promises. As it ebbs, the seedsman
Upon the slime and ooze scatters his grain,
And shortly comes to harvest.
LEPIDUS

You’ve strange serpents there?

ANTONY

Ay, Lepidus.

LEPIDUS

Your serpent of Egypt is bred now of your mud by the operation of your sun; so is your crocodile.

ANTONY

They are so.

POMPEY

Sit, and some wine! A health to Lepidus!

LEPIDUS

I am not so well as I should be, but I’ll ne’er out.

ENOBARBUS

Not till you have slept. I fear me you’ll be in till then.

LEPIDUS

Nay, certainly, I have heard the Ptolemies’ pyramises are very goodly things. Without contradiction I have heard that.

MENAS

[Aside to Pompey.] Pompey, a word.

POMPEY

[Aside to Menas.] Say in mine ear what is ’t?

MENAS
[Whispers in ’s ear.] Forsake thy seat, I do beseech thee, captain,
And hear me speak a word.
POMPEY
[Aside to Menas.] Forbear me till anon.—
This wine for Lepidus!
LEPIDUS

What manner o’ thing is your crocodile?

ANTONY

It is shaped, sir, like itself, and it is as broad as it hath breadth. It is just so high as it is, and moves with it own organs. It lives by that which nourisheth it, and the elements once out of it, it transmigrates.

LEPIDUS

What colour is it of?

ANTONY

Of its own colour too.

LEPIDUS

’Tis a strange serpent.

ANTONY

’Tis so, and the tears of it are wet.

CAESAR

Will this description satisfy him?

ANTONY

With the health that Pompey gives him, else he is a very epicure.

POMPEY
[Aside to Menas.] Go hang, sir, hang! Tell me of that? Away!
Do as I bid you.—Where’s this cup I called for?
MENAS
[Aside to Pompey.] If for the sake of merit thou wilt hear me,
Rise from thy stool.
POMPEY

[Aside to Menas.] I think thou’rt mad.

[Rises and walks aside.]

The matter?

MENAS

I have ever held my cap off to thy fortunes.

POMPEY
Thou hast served me with much faith. What’s else to say?—
Be jolly, lords.
ANTONY
These quicksands, Lepidus,
Keep off them, for you sink.
MENAS

Wilt thou be lord of all the world?

POMPEY

What sayst thou?

MENAS
Wilt thou be lord of the whole world?
That’s twice.
POMPEY

How should that be?

MENAS
But entertain it,
And though you think me poor, I am the man
Will give thee all the world.
POMPEY

Hast thou drunk well?

MENAS
No, Pompey, I have kept me from the cup.
Thou art, if thou dar’st be, the earthly Jove.
Whate’er the ocean pales or sky inclips
Is thine, if thou wilt have’t.
POMPEY

Show me which way.

MENAS
These three world-sharers, these competitors,
Are in thy vessel. Let me cut the cable,
And when we are put off, fall to their throats.
All then is thine.
POMPEY
Ah, this thou shouldst have done
And not have spoke on ’t! In me ’tis villainy;
In thee ’t had been good service. Thou must know
’Tis not my profit that does lead mine honour;
Mine honour it. Repent that e’er thy tongue
Hath so betray’d thine act. Being done unknown,
I should have found it afterwards well done,
But must condemn it now. Desist, and drink.
MENAS
[Aside.] For this,
I’ll never follow thy palled fortunes more.
Who seeks, and will not take when once ’tis offered,
Shall never find it more.
POMPEY

This health to Lepidus!

ANTONY

Bear him ashore. I’ll pledge it for him, Pompey.

ENOBARBUS

Here’s to thee, Menas!

MENAS

Enobarbus, welcome!

POMPEY

Fill till the cup be hid.

ENOBARBUS

There’s a strong fellow, Menas.

[Pointing to the servant who carries off Lepidus.]
MENAS

Why?

ENOBARBUS

’A bears the third part of the world, man. Seest not?

MENAS
The third part, then, is drunk. Would it were all,
That it might go on wheels!
ENOBARBUS

Drink thou. Increase the reels.

MENAS

Come.

POMPEY

This is not yet an Alexandrian feast.

ANTONY
It ripens towards it. Strike the vessels, ho!
Here is to Caesar!
CAESAR
I could well forbear’t.
It’s monstrous labour when I wash my brain
And it grows fouler.
ANTONY

Be a child o’ the time.

CAESAR
Possess it, I’ll make answer.
But I had rather fast from all, four days,
Than drink so much in one.
ENOBARBUS
[To Antony.] Ha, my brave emperor,
Shall we dance now the Egyptian Bacchanals
And celebrate our drink?
POMPEY

Let’s ha’t, good soldier.

ANTONY
Come, let’s all take hands
Till that the conquering wine hath steeped our sense
In soft and delicate Lethe.
ENOBARBUS
All take hands.
Make battery to our ears with the loud music,
The while I’ll place you; then the boy shall sing.
The holding every man shall beat as loud
As his strong sides can volley.
[Music plays. Enobarbus places them hand in hand.]
THE SONG
Come, thou monarch of the vine,
Plumpy Bacchus with pink eyne!
In thy vats our cares be drowned,
With thy grapes our hairs be crowned.
Cup us till the world go round,
Cup us till the world go round!
CAESAR
What would you more? Pompey, good night. Good brother,
Let me request you off. Our graver business
Frowns at this levity.—Gentle lords, let’s part.
You see we have burnt our cheeks. Strong Enobarb
Is weaker than the wine, and mine own tongue
Splits what it speaks. The wild disguise hath almost
Anticked us all. What needs more words. Good night.
Good Antony, your hand.
POMPEY

I’ll try you on the shore.

ANTONY

And shall, sir. Give’s your hand.

POMPEY
O Antony,
You have my father’s house.
But, what? We are friends. Come, down into the boat.
ENOBARBUS

Take heed you fall not.

[Exeunt Pompey, Caesar, Antony and Attendants.]

Menas, I’ll not on shore.

MENAS
No, to my cabin. These drums, these trumpets, flutes! What!
Let Neptune hear we bid a loud farewell
To these great fellows. Sound and be hanged, sound out!
[Sound a flourish with drums.]
ENOBARBUS

Hoo, says ’a! There’s my cap!

MENAS

Hoo! Noble captain, come.

[Exeunt.]